sorry mom, got an unpopular blog to run
The past versions of you made some honest mistakes because they were younger, more immature and just didn’t know better. They couldn’t predict the future. Please don’t be so hard on your younger self, they deserved better than what happened to them and they deserve your compassion, understanding and forgiveness. Tell them they are okay now, that they are safe, that they don’t need to worry so much anymore. Nurture the parts of you that you couldn’t nurture before so they can let go of all the hardships they went through. The world was already tough enough when it judged you. Don’t be even worse to yourself. Be fair in your criticisms instead of being punitive and unkind. You deserved better back then, you still deserve better now. Tend to your past self. Help them heal their wounds so you can live a better present.
All of this is temporary, and my time on this earth is very limited, so I’m might as well deal with what I need to deal and move forward while trying to enjoy this little life of mine
People breaking up with neurotypicals: It’s not you it’s me, I think we just need some space.
People breaking up with someone with a personality disorder and already sensitive emotions: I don’t like you. You’re disgusting and vile scum of the earth and I pray that the likes of you never disgraces an area within 100 feet of me again!
anyone else stuck in that limbo of “I have to apologize for every selfish thing I do and beat up on myself so they know I feel terrible” and “if I apologize and beat up on myself a lot they’ll think I’m manipulating them and am therefore a shitty person” or is it just me
Abusive parents berating you on being a financial burden often isn’t even satisfied by the solution of you moving out and supporting yourself, they instead want the money they spent on raising you to pay off somehow! They’ll be coming at you like ‘Where is the payout of keeping you alive! We should be refunded for this! At the very least this should give us immeasurable power and influence over you!’ like you’re a misguided property investment, and not a human being they created and were accountable for keeping alive and safe.
You can’t ‘invest’ money you spend on raising a child, you don’t win anything by it, you’ve made yourself responsible for giving away resources the second you decided to have that child. The alternative was to have your child die from lack of resources, and you would have been responsible for that death. You don’t accumulate debt by not letting your child die. Your child is the least responsible for things costing money. Your child did not invent the economy or having to pay for resources. If you had invested in society where survival resources would be free, and only then had a child, this would never even come up as a problem.
You raising a child does not have to pay out to you, and you’re gross for ever expecting it will.
I love Bhishma Pitama because he had one minor inconvenience and decided to stay a virgin for life, like I get him, yk?
Boy howdy I do love to cross stitch*
*my lower back is unbelievably fucked
my toxic yarn trait is that if I see a skein of yarn in store that’s Pretty I’ll buy the single skein without a project in mind and then I’ll get really angry @ myself when I realize that this yarn would looks really good for this one pattern……that I need more than one skein for…………..
I am home alone it’s time to get wild (sitting on the couch and knitting)
Baking is ridiculous. Stir these powders into a goo and them warm them up until they turn into some kind of edible sponge. Who came up with this.
not waiting for love bc love finds me in all kinds of ways every day
Also cool how the final note of Oppenheimer was a faux-edgy cynicism that we’re just doomed to eventually blow ourselves up sooner or later because Humanity Is Cruel or whatever. Love seeing more pointless nihilism and defeatism at the cinema made by people with enough money and privilege to not have to worry about anything a day in their lives.
i posted last week about how i went to watch oppenheimer as part of barbenheimer & then ended up writing a 900 word essay about it. three people asked to see the essay so here it is:
a three hour anxiety attack
Oppenheimer has a scene of a very beautiful naked woman fucking a very beautiful naked man and there is zero sexual energy displayed on screen. Zero. Said woman stops halfway through it and makes the man (Oppenheimer himself) read a poem in Sanskrit about death, which the audience is supposed to associate with the atomic bomb. There is a second attempt at romance: Oppenheimer flirts while explaining quantum mechanics. Looking into his future wife’s eyes under his big eyelashes, he says that matter is mostly empty, negative space; it’s the bond between atoms that creates the illusion of matter being solid. What we experience as touch, he says while holding her hand, is the repulsion of this bond that stops one body from going through the other. It was in fact appealing to me, but then by the end of the movie Oppenheimer has visions of carbonized bodies laid before him: his invention destroyed matter in such a brutal way that he steps not onto them but through them. So basically. All scenes about sex are not about sex; they are about death. What is about sex in fact, the climax, if you will, is death: the most erotic scene in the movie, the high point of tension that takes your breath away, is a scene of people watching an atomic bomb explode. And that really says all you need to know about how Nolan’s mind operates
Didn’t include this in my review but there’s some laughably bad Nolanesque filmmaking in Oppenheimer especially re: the women. Florence Pugh (who is naked in 50% of her scenes) rides Cillian Murphy’s dick in the middle of a hearing at one point when they bring up the fact he cheated on his wife with her. It’s supposed to be in his head or w/e but it’s the stupidest shit I’ve seen in a movie in a long time. In another scene she gets him to read the Bhagavad Gita quote while fucking him (as in he says “I am become death destroyer of worlds” right as she puts his dick in her). I don’t want Nolan to look at a woman again tbh.